I’ve been feeling somewhat stuck in a rut, even though I had a wonderful time wild camping in Nant Y Moch and then exploring Anglesey recently (posts coming soon) I’ve still had that ‘meh’ feeling creeping up. Throughout this post I’m going to share some pictures from summer and some from Cornwall – I didn’t write much about that holiday purely because I wanted to switch off during.
If you should know one thing about me, I get bogged down if relationships are not going too well – relationships of all formats by the way. On this occasion, it’s been friendships and work that’s been getting to me a little so I started reading a book that my Nan bought me a few years ago called The Magic, which is helping me to figure things out. Sometimes I wish I just didn’t care but I do. I’ve noticed that I get hooked on these self help ‘fads’ and then forget about them as soon a everything seems to be going OK, only to find myself back where I started.
If I could teach myself any lesson it would be to always look after yourself even when you’re feeling good because it’s easier to go back to the happy place should something not go to plan. The good news is, I managed to sort the friendship thing out and it just reinforced how important my friends are to me. I’ve always been adamant that I don’t need friends (and I don’t) but I want and like them. I think it comes from being bullied at school and then feeling rather isolated (own doing) whilst I was home educated in my teen years. I didn’t realise that until some years later I’d learnt to like being on my own but appreciate and love company off another without be too dependant.
Career wise, that’s been niggling away at me even though it’s been going amazingly – I’m guest lecturing at Manchester University next week and I spoke recently at WordCamp Manchester. The past two years, my career has taken some positive steps and I’ve to remind myself for 25 with no formal education, I’ve done really well. I’ve noticed cracks in my business – things which I really need to change. Still I feel as though I’m at a bit of a cross roads and in need of a change overall and I’ve been investing a lot of time researching a career change in the outdoors (which hasn’t been easy one bit) and as a result I received a fantastic opportunity which fell through and left me feeling a little deflated. I’m still in limbo with my current career but I’m trying to relight the fire so to speak.
I think it all got on top of me when I sprained my ankle , I’d like to tell you it was from doing something daring and dangerous but it was my porch step in the dark which took me out. I’ve been on crutches for nearly a week and it’s brought home to me how much I actually like walking – I mean I really like walking. I missed a stand up paddle boarding session with all of my friends and family and I’ve not been able to do simple things like have a shower – boy do we take things like that for granted. That said, I’ve had family and friends looking after me which I’m eternally grateful for but I’ve realised just how stubborn I actually am and insist on hobbling around just to get my laptop charger from the other side of the house. I love yoga and do it twice a day and it’s bugged me that I’ve not been able to do it – I feel unhealthy and it’s only been a week!
To add insult to injury, I decided to run a load of burlesque beginner workshops in my local area of Oswestry, Wrexham and Chester and I’m counting on my ankle to be fully better -I’ve got less than a week! Still, I’ve got an exciting photo shoot coming up with my client Doll House Photography, where I’m going to swap my hiking boots for a corset or two, to get some promotion pictures and I’ve been booked for the North Wales Burlesque Festival next year, where I’ll be giving a marketing master class for the glitter industries. I’ve just also been confirmed to perform and teach at another Welsh festival but I can’t say which one just yet! I think I’ve decided to really go ahead with this part of my ‘leisure time’ because it allows me to put my creative energy into something that’s just for me. I spend a lot of time being creative for other people’s businesses you see…
Anyway because I’ve been feeling unmotivated it’s had a knock on effect with the blog too, I’ve got lots to post about but after a much needed mindfulness and meditation session with one of my favourite iPhone apps ‘Stop, Breath & Think’ I thought I’d write this post, get it out of my head and read it back knowing that I’m just being silly. If there’s anything I’ve learnt about being down in the dumps, it’s to recognise it, think about it for a little time and then look for solutions to change it. I think I’m done temporarily dwelling! Reading that all back makes me think ‘quit your wining!’ I’ve a lot to be grateful for and maybe being stuck in for a week or so has made me a little cabin feverish! 😉
I’m always careful with what I share with you dear readers because I like my blog being described as ‘a happy place’ because it is mine. I was reading something recently about a girl who decided to shut her social media down because it had taken over her life and she admitted that the things she was posting wasn’t making her happy and lots of her content was just for marketing purposes. Then I spoke to a friend of mine who travels a lot and posts some wonderful pictures but she reminded me that travelling is not all about pictures with the latest filter. There’s a lot of hard work that goes on behind the scenes. And then it made me wander, does my blog look too perfect – is there a human behind it? So just in case you’re in doubt, yes there is – her name’s Chelsea and she’s trying to do her best to over come phobias, find happiness in every moment and create something that one day when she’s old and grey, she can look back on and say, life was good.